Editor’s note: This post was originally published on October 15, 2014.
Editor’s note: TLAP offers confidential assistance for lawyers, law students, and judges with substance use or mental health issues. Call TLAP at 1-800-343-8527 (TLAP), text TLAP to 555888, or find more information at tlaphelps.org.
I’ve been given the precious gift of life three times; when I was born, when I got sober, and when I finally overcame an eating disorder.
My parents are healthcare professionals who gave us a great home and many advantages growing up, but there were unspoken high expectations. We were the “perfect” family outwardly, but my heart kept growing cold when I did not receive time, love, or attention from my father. Unknowingly, I was beginning my quest for that certain male/father figure that would later bring me great misery.
So, I excelled in everything that I did, whether it was being valedictorian, being the best dancer, being the best all around … you name it. I did it and did it well. But I still never got that hug from my dad. I still never got that “twinkle in the eye/I’m so proud of you” look.