Don’t Miss the Arrest of Santa Claus at 9:00 a.m. on Thursday, December 13, 2012 At James Bonham Academy!
Santa Claus will be arrested at 9:00 a.m. on Thursday, December 13, 2012, at James Bonham Academy, 925 South St. Mary’s Street. Santa Claus, who will be giving out Christmas presents, will be charged with violation of a statute concerning separation of Church and State.
Santa Claus will be arrested for violation of this statute and led away in handcuffs by members of the San Antonio Police Department. Repeatedly Santa Claus has appeared at local schools giving gifts in violation of this statute. This is the nineteenth year in a row that Santa has been arrested for violation of the statute. Each time in the past, Santa Claus has beaten the charge, due to skillful representation of Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts that make up his defense team. It helps that the jury was composed of fourth graders from James Bonham Academy.
On Saturday, December 15, 2012 at 9:00 a.m., Santa Claus a/k/a Kris Kringle, will be tried in the Federal Courthouse in front of the Honorable Judge Edward C. Prado for violation of this statute. The Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts will make up both the prosecution and the defense teams. The jury will be selected from fourth graders from James Bonham Academy. This is different version of “Miracle on 34th Street” with an unusual twist.
If Santa Claus is found to be competent (this Santa Claus actually believes reindeer can fly), Santa clearly violated the statute and will probably be convicted. Santa may spend this Christmas in jail!
If Santa Claus is acquitted and is found competent, then a Christmas party will occur at the Federal Training Center across the patio in front of the John H. Wood Jr. Courthouse.
The Trial of Santa Claus is a community services project of the United States District Court Committee, San Antonio Bar Association, in conjunction with Boy Scout Troop 285, Girl Scout Troops 887 and 705 and James Bonham Academy.
San Antonio Bar Association
Contact: Ted Lee at 210-886-9500